things i learned this summer
how to walk in heels
a sign of maturity i have avoided by wearing platforms up until this point, but now i can walk in big girl shoes! maybe the adulthood training wheels are off or maybe i was actually just a size 37 not 38.
2. the emergency seat of a plane
i have consistently sat in these all summer. they are extra leg room for the price of being responsible for everyones lives in case of an emergency (and an extra 100 euros)
3. girlhood is phoebe bridgers through bedroom speakers
literally and figuratively. girlhood was (and continues to be) about blasting your feelings (to yourself, in your room, in your head, wherever, over and over and over and over)
4. how to clean a toilet
i’m learning how to do things i do not want to do because they have to be done
5. how to deal with a language barrier
i can be easily embarrassed or cornered by the notion of humiliation so i sometimes back out of interactions that will make me uncomfortable, or settle for something i don’t want because it’s easier than having to endure the awkwardness of miscommunication. but i learnt that its ok and to keep pointing at the thing you want
6. what an airtag is
i am late to the party but i’ve been getting better at not losing things
7. i don’t know myself
you are too close to yourself to know yourself fully, and knowing isn’t real anyway. if someone close to you thinks you’ve lost weight, you probably have. or when your mother thinks you’re being unreasonable, you probably are. how am i supposed to see it anyway
8. being grown
being an adult around people who knew you as a kid can feel like pressure, at least to someone like me, who has this golden and shimmering haze surrounding their younger childhood days, and who doesn’t ever want to get too far from it. it can be scary to think about not being the person that the people around me used to know, or even the person they once raised. i am still all of the people i was and i have learned that being relaxed often allows for the best parts of you to shine through, and for an effortlessness of being to take over. do not grasp at effortlessness, that is not the point. i am still gleaming and curious and cutting with my words
9. motion sickness
FACE THE WAY THE VEHICLE IS MOVING (read: look in the direction your life is going but look out of the window for too long as the car pulls out of the driveway, move with the current but don’t let go of the hand your holding)
10. blood is thick
blood is thick and binding and loud and honest and unfair and you can see it in empty rooms and hear it in crackly phone calls
11. indulge a little
self explanatory. haven’t fully learned this one yet